She Says To Fly

Reflections for the Nineteenth

Monday, November 23, 2009

I guess you get to a stage where material things just don't matter any
more... Or is it just me?

Yesterday was the big one-nine... Ok, not so big, but hey it's still a
birthday! Anyways, I have not received a proper present to date...
Only one Ang pao and part 1 of a present from Gilbert and Adriana...
But yet... I feel... Content.

Why? I don't know. All I know is that this year, as opposed to last
year, people remembered my birthday... Last year, no one wished me
happy birthday when the clock strikes 12. Only my sister did when it
was an hour later, and not even one from my parents the next
morning... This year, they wished me from 11pm - 1 hour too early,
then again at 11.58pm - 2 minutes too early, and finally we did a
coutdown, then the proper one comes...

Not that I'm complaining, but just to note the stark difference
between my 19th and my 18th birthday...

And maybe I got contented so easily because I managed to get my
brother to celebrate with me... The 2/3 weeks before hand, he was a
fieldcamp and I did not see him for that long prior to my birthday...
To have him out celebrting, is already a great thing...

And also at my cousin's wedding on the 20th, people somehow discovered
that it was my birthday, without me saying it... Then, despite wishing
the bride and groom their best wishes, and my aunt whose birthday fell
on that day itself, I had my share too...

I guess a person is not measured by what he is given, or what he owns,
but by how many people remember him when he is to be remembered, by
birth or by death...

And yes, I have blogged again...

10:22 AM

Twitter

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Guess I've not logged on to blog for a very long while... Even posting this post does not require me to log in... all hail email...

i'm switching over to Twitter for now... cos it just seems much easier and also cos im too lazy to blog...

so, todeloo blogger, hellloooooo Twitter! (follow me on twitter @roykwok22 !)

5:41 PM

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Now the Sun's gone to hell,
And the moon's riding high.
Let me bid you farewell
Every Man has to die...
It is written in the starlight,
Every line on your palm
We're fools to make war on our
Brothers In Arms

5:03 PM

Back for a post

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Feeling a little bit emo now... so i'm back here...

you know, every chinese new year my parents would go to the temple and ask for each of our luck for the year... most of the times they were quite accurate... my brother had a small operation, and he did, a small dental thing. i would loose a large sum of money last year, and i did, loosing my chinese new year money to buy clothes one, 300 bucks in total...

but this year, i was dumbfounded that mine was nothing bad, in fact almost too perfect. but i knew all along that there must be something i must look out for, its just not discovered only...

and i found out myself

(you may not draw the link as i do, but wel, i do.)

i guess, this year, i must watch the leadership roles that i take, and that they dont overwhelm each other, just like it is now. i must also learn to do and not to count the cost, aka dont be so calculative.

one at a time:

leadership roles - the ones i currently possess:
1) FYP Grp leader
2) SPAC2GO Vice President
3) MWR Tenor leader
4) MWR's National Day Parade Group leader
5) various projects' leader

i guess i can die from all these and neglecting my studies.

next issue: not to count the cost

theres a particular role which is quite prestigious, and participation offers many different unique opportunities that does not come about just like that. i understand that there may be some requirements that i do not meet, and hence i shall not take those events into view. but others, where opportunity is UNLIMITED, but only bounded by self-imposed professionalism, prevent my participation in what i deem these events as PERKS. at least i do. so ok even if i do not get to participate, then let me ask, what do i, as a leader, get for a role which was claimed that i volunteered for, but was never given the right to speak up against? (in simpler terms, i was nominated into the role on the impression of "volunteerism".) at least i should get some perks for it? nah... i dont... not even one where i was supposed to get a small perk but was later taken away from me. now you know why i'm emo? it's not like we're paid to do the job... we're merely helpers to do S.K....

even SKW get paid... i think we need a new term for unpaid/unjustified SKWs - one level below the already lowly SKWs. SK slaves? SKTargetboard?

2:10 AM

Last Words from Dr Allan Ooi

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Received an email forward about this... just to share...:

Update: letter removed to respect the wishes and privacy of the family

there was one line that struck me... and it made me think: would i want to live life like this? i dont wanna die bearing all these with me in the heart too...

i guess, it is somehow God's answer to my question...

12:44 AM

29 Feb 2009

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Was counting the dates on my email. Got an email reply on the 28 of
feb which was supposed to be yesterday, and was wondering when is the
28?. cos I know today is the 1st, and one day after should be 29th..
And so I went to check the original email which was a day ago only,
was only sent on 27th.. Odd, I wondered, as if I jumped straight into
march and skipped 2 days on earth...

And then it struck me. There's no such thing as 29 feb on an odd-
numbered year. Silly me XD.

I did jump straight into march!

Now laugh!

5:41 AM

Lonely

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Lonely
The path you have chosen
A restless road, no turning back
One day you will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go, be strong

what an apt verse frm Il Divo to open my post.

the road i've chosen. SP Biotech. i'm sorta lonely now... close friends are JC grads, NS, or other poly, or overseas interning, most prob a shanghai (teri at ireland). that leaves with me. here. in singapore. nothing much i can do. literally a "restless" road. its workign us to hell man... and yes, there is no turning back.

but i must stay strong. the truth will come. i will shine one day...

And here's the irony. Just when it seems like i've been forgotten by everyone, and i'm just another lonely soul roaming this earth, there is someone out there, whom i've once tried to forget with all my might, someone who has once forgotten me, seemed to remember me now with a small dedication in his rant space, that i have, somehow, made a differnce to his life. at least once. or twice. there were 2 songs.

and yes, one of them was this - Il Divo's I believe in you. no, its a pure concidence that when i was thinking of a nice way to start my first post-exam rant, i choose a song he pointed out.

but since we're on that topic, that leads me to another thing. i've mentioned i've been trying to forget him. a friend who was once so close, but we drifted apart. real fast. as if pangea tore up into many pieces within days. but now, i've been trying to find the heart to let go, forgive and forget. we spoke, though indirectly. and i feel, i dont want to see him in a school reunion 7 years down the road and run away. i feel, that the love was once there, the hate was also found its place. somehow, friendship-sick, if theres such a thing, roped in. as for now, can we settle down, and be friends again? i'm trying to find the right time, the right moment of my heart to know that i can let go. i found it recently.

I followed my heart,
Let my love lead through the darkness
Back to a place I once knew
Shall believe, shall believe, shall believe its due.
Followed my dreams
In search of an angel of kindness
I hope that my heart's song was true,
To believe, to believe, to believe in you.

i welcome you back into my arms, my friend. its time to let go, let live, and let God take the wheel from here.

2:48 AM